


i just wanted one dance with you

by ziyangology



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, Sad, soft angst, zhengjun, zhengyi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 00:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14863388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziyangology/pseuds/ziyangology
Summary: zhengting is in love with ziyi and has told him that but ziyi isn’t too skilled with feelings or relationships and zhengting only feels safe when ziyi holds him but ziyi only holds him when they dance together





	i just wanted one dance with you

zhengting gets distracted a lot.

it doesn’t matter where he is, his mind wanders.

that could be said about anyone. 

but zhengting blames his distractibility on a particular individual.

and that individual would be wang ziyi.

zhengting and ziyi are friends. you could say that, it wouldn’t be untrue, but its not the full truth.

zhengting  _ loves _ ziyi. 

“zhengting!” chengcheng snapped zhengting out of his thoughts.

“were you even listening?”

“his mind was probably on ziyi again.”

zhengting rolled his eyes.

“fuck off, let’s just finish the assignment.” zhengting returned his attention to their group work.

* * *

 

zhengting only feels at peace when he’s in ziyi’s arms. he knew that for sure. 

they’ve been dance partners since their high school days. they both knew each other very well which made their chemistry when they danced together very good.

zhengting and ziyi have been inseparable since their high school days.

always hanging out together, before, between, and after school. endless sleepovers and hangouts between the two. they’ve accompanied each other on family vacation and essentially have been welcomed as full-fledged members of each other’s families.

* * *

 

it seemed simple, didn’t it? 

zhengting liked ziyi. the only real question was how ziyi felt.

so just confess. tell him how you feel, despite any objections over ‘risking friendship’. in theory, it seems simple enough. but in reality, it actually isn’t. 

wang ziyi was never the best at being consider of others feelings. he proved that just in the way he broke the hearts of multiple people with no remorse when they screamed at him and called him names. 

there was nothing in ziyi’s life or that happened as he grew that had caused this behavior in him. he grew up with happily married parents, an older brother who would die for him, and he had a couple of pretty great friends. there was nothing to complain about.

* * *

 

ziyi knows how zhengting feels. he knew for a while before the older male finally actually confessed to him. 

though he doesn’t show it, ziyi really cherishes zhengting. zhengting means a lot to him. probably more to him than anyone else in his life. his mother treats zhengting like a third son, she asks more about zhengting than she does actually ask about ziyi during their weekly phone calls. 

the same could be said for zhengting’s parents. whenever zhengting travels home, his mother always asks if ziyi is coming. zhengting’s mother knows how happy ziyi makes zhengting and she only wants the best for her son. she constantly asks zhengting when he’s going to date ziyi to the annoyance of her son. 

the truth is, ziyi has no idea how to be what zhengting wants him to be.

“why do you only hold me when we dance together?” zhengting quietly asked, his head nestled against ziyi’s shoulder as they danced together. ziyi’s arm comfortably supported zhengting’s waist while he held zhengting’s hand in his with his other hand.

ziyi’s chuckle rumbled from his chest. zhengting could feel the vibration against his body.

“you know the answer.” ziyi spoke softly. zhengting swore he could fall asleep to that voice is he wanted to.

ziyi brought zhengting as his date to his older brother’s wedding. zhengting was usually always his date for family occasions. he never took any of his current girlfriends or boyfriends to such things. 

zhengting was watching ziyi’s brother and his bride dance together, spent smiles on their faces. he wondered what that was like. to marry your best friend. the one you love the most. and they love you back. 

zhengting looked back at ziyi. could he ever get that with ziyi? or with someone? was that possible for him.

this endless back and forth was tiring. zhengting always,  _ still _ holds out hope for ziyi. he knows himself that it’s a worthless case. but he still has hope that maybe. someday. 

ziyi will give him that happiness. 

* * *

“ziyi, seriously? we were supposed to meet up. i’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes!” zhengting complained into his phone.

the male sighed, hanging his head at the response he was receiving.

“you know, what, forget it. i’ll see you later, bye.” zhengting hung up with a long sigh. 

feeling defeated over being ditched, zhengting decided to just order since he was already at the cafe, 

zhengting ordered his choice of coffee and a bagel and he was just about to pay when a hand stretched out over his shoulder. 

“i’ll pay for his and mine,” he heard a voice behind him, it was definitely a male. 

zhengting craned his head to look at the male.

he was tall, defined cheekbones and zhengting had to admit that his dimples were cute too. 

“it’s alright, i can pay myself.” zhengting had told the taller male who only gave him a  _ beautiful _ smile. 

“don’t worry about it, you got stood up so i thought i could help you out.”

zhengting’s eyes widened.

“how did you know that?”

“i didn’t, until just now.” 

zhengting was mentally cursing himself for meeting such a cute guy under this horrible circumstances.

the guy ended paying for both their orders and roped zhengting into sitting with him.

“i’m lin yanjun and you’re too handsome to be stood up.” he said.

“god, that was horrible.” zhengting scrunched up his face to which yanjun only laughed.

_ even his laugh is beautiful, _ zhengting thinks.

zhengting spends a lot of time with yanjun. 

he finds out yanjun is actually really funny. and that yanjun is also like  _ really, really _ handsome a majority of the time. 

zhengting finds himself always smiling when he’s with yanjun. 

zhengting never thought he could smile so much to where his face hurt.

he wanted to always feel the way he felt when he was with yanjun.

just so carefree, happy, not caring about anything else, but being in that moment with yanjun.

* * *

 

zhengting spends more and more time with yanjun and less with ziyi. 

for the first time, zhengting realized there was more to life than ziyi.

there was another life than a life with ziyi. 

he was always going around, driving himself insane, crying, wishing, hoping ziyi will want him, ziyi will love him, hug him, kiss him. 

hope doesn’t get you very far. 

yanjun is there. yanjun is present. yanjun likes zhengting. yanjun wants to be with zhengting, he wants zhengting to be his. he wants to make zhengting happy. 

what can ziyi offer zhengting?

* * *

 

“have you talked to zhengting?” xukun asks ziyi as the older takes a hit from the joint before passing it back to xukun.

ziyi shook his head, coughing slightly. xukun took a hit, blowing out rings of smoke. 

“that yanjun dude really is into him.”

ziyi looked at xukun, an eyebrow raised.

“do you not know? when’s the last time you talked to zhengting?”

“chengcheng’s birthday?”

“ziyi, for fucks sake, that was three weeks ago.”

“i know.” ziyi blew out a couple rings of smoke. 

“yanjun, he’s an engineering major, he’s best friends with that zhangjing kid. his dimples are unbelievable.” ziyi glanced at xukun who only giggled.

“anyway, he seems alright. he’s like really,  _ really, _ into zhengting.” 

“good for zhengting.” ziyi spoke up, taking a long drag from the joint, blowing smoke out of his mouth.  

“seriously ziyi, this is your last chance.”

“last chance?” ziyi glanced at xukun.

“zhengting has been in love with you forever. if you don’t do something soon, you’re going to lose him forever.”

“okay.” xukun grabbed ziyi’s shoulder to turn the older towards him.

“don’t blow me off, i’m looking out for you, bro.”

“kun, i got it. thanks, bro.”

* * *

 

_ you still in town? _

_ 12:52 pm _

 

_ heading back with cheng and justin tmrw _

_ 12:52 pm _

 

_ meet me on my roof lets talk _

_ just like all times _

_ 12:53 pm _

_ alright _

_ 12:53 pm _

 

back in high school, zhengting and ziyi spent a lot of time on ziyi’s roof. ziyi kissed zhengting, gave zhengting his first kiss on his roof. zhengting wouldn’t admit it but he has always treasured that memory close to his heart. 

ziyi was already sitting there when zhengting climbed up there. 

“hey,” zhengting says, taking a seat next to ziyi, letting his legs hang off the edge.

“hey,” ziyi repeats, looking forward instead of at zhengting.

“i heard about yanjun.”

“oh, yeah.” zhengting says, not really expecting to hear that from ziyi. was he jealous? probably not. what was he gonna say? so many thoughts were running through zhengting’s mind.

“does he make you happy?” ziyi looked at zhengting.

zhengting nods.

“that’s good, i’m happy for you.” ziyi pats zhengting’s thigh. 

“i wish you could’ve made me happy.” 

“zhengting…”

“no, ziyi, i hate it. i hate that coming up here, even now, when i’m fucking twenty-two years old, and i have a great guy who truly likes me and wants to make me happy and i still relive that moment when we were fifteen and you kissed me up here. i still want the guy who never wanted me. i held out hope for you, i wanted you. do you know how bad i wanted you to choose me and you never did. you一” ziyi cut off zhengting with a kiss.

zhengting stayed still, his hand reaching up to hold ziyi’s face in place as he kissed back. 

the two pulled away after a moment.

“i shouldn’t have done that.” ziyi says, moving to stand up, zhengting grabs onto his hand. 

“ziyi, please一”

“zhengting, i don’t deserve you. i never did. you wasted your time on me. yanjun can give me way more than i can. i’m sorry. i had to kiss you one last time before i let you go.” ziyi caressed zhengting’s face with his free hand. 

“don’t let me go.” zhengting says.

“tell me to stay with you and i’ll stay.”

ziyi stays silent.

“or tell me to go and i’ll say yes to yanjun and what we had will be forever forgotten.” zhengting tells ziyi.

more moments of silence.

“go, you deserve better.” ziyi finally says and zhengting feels his heart shatter. 

ziyi isn’t looking at him anymore and zhengting only leaves, not looking back.

* * *

 

not every story has a happy ending. 

ziyi and zhengting never came back into each others lives.

yanjun made zhengting happy, he felt loved, like he mattered. yanjun made zhengting feel all the feelings he wanted to feel with ziyi. 

does he still think about ziyi? yes.

but everything happens for a reason.

 


End file.
